BUYER: Charlie Sheen
LOCATION: Beverly Hills/Sherman Oaks, CA
PRICE: $4,800,000
SIZE: 6,625 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: It has come to Your Mama’s attention—via the wonderfully incessant and greatly appreciated real estate machinations of Yolanda Yakketyak—that whackadoodle actor and tabloid staple Charlie Sheen owns not just one but three macmansions in the affluent, guard-gated and occasionally crime plagued* Mulholland Estates community in Sherman Oaks/Beverly Hills, CA.** Your Mama knew about two of them but the third came as a bit of a surprise, we have to admit.

The irrepressibly contrarian porn and prostie lovin’ publicity hound plunked down $7,200,000 in April 2006 to buy a nearly 8,000 square foot mock-Med macmansion with five bedrooms and seven bathrooms. The children will recall that Mister Sheen had the house—his primary residence, his Ground Zero, if y’all will—on the market for about four months over the tumultuous summer of 2011 with a $7.2 million price tag. Alas, the house failed to sell and remains firmly ensconced in his growing property portfolio.

In March 2011, in the midst of an ugly and public but also very lucrative psychic meltdown, Mister Sheen, as the self-monikered Winning Warlock, shelled out $6,999,999 to buy a 9,020 square foot mock-Med macmansion just around the corner. The seller, as it turns out, was Tinseltown tycoon turned hardcore house flipper Mike Medavoy who had only purchased the six bedroom and nine bathroom beast six months earlier for $6,000,000. There where scads of rumors and reports that Mister Sheen purchased the property in order to put up one of his three ex-wives or, perhaps, to house his harem of hussy gal pals but—to be honest—Your Mama has no idea why he wanted the house or who currently occupies it.

Anyhoo, with information provided by Yolanda Your Mama had a thorough perusal of property records and, lo and behold, in late October (2012) Mister Sheen clandestinely acquired his third mock-Med macmansion in Mulholland Estates, this one a 6,625 square foot quasi-Spanish villa with five bedrooms and six bathrooms.

Mister Sheen bought the house, according to our research, from L.A.-based billionaire financier Tom Gores—the owner of the Detroit Pistons—who bought it in 2006 for $5,712,000 from his low key Hollywood power player celebrity agent brother Sam Gores. Your Mama does not even have to consult our beloved bejeweled abacus to see that Mister T. Gores lost more than a million clams on that deal, not counting carrying costs, improvements and real estate fees. Of course, the Forbes folk estimate T. Gores has a $2.6 billion fortune so what’s he really care about a million so bucks, right? Sam Gores, however, did much better financially as he’d acquired the property for $2,600,000 in May 2001 from Verna Harrah, the wildly rich (and now deceased) widow of casino kingpin Bill Harrah.

In November 2008 Tom Gores, who has an extensive and interesting residential real estate history that any of the butter beans who might be interested can read about here, coughed up $18,000,000 for a 7,247 square foot mansion due north of the Bel-Air Country Club. Just a few short months later, in January 2009, the real estate baller coughed up $38,000,000 to buy the 11,400 square foot Mediterranean mansion nest door that was formerly owned by none other than Verna Harrah. Real estate coinkydink? You decide. Mister Gores has since knocked down the smaller house and expanded the larger one to be a more satisfying residential real estate monument to his vast wealth.

Besides Mister Sheen and a slew of wealthy doctors, lawyers and bizness(wo)men there are a number of high profile peeps who maintains homes in the Mulholland Estates Community. They include Judith Light and Robert Desiderio, British pop star Robbie Williams, former Beach Boy Brian Wilson and rock star Slash and his wife Perla Hudson who bought their house in March 2009 for $7.3 million from newly divorced former Real Housewife and up-and-coming cougar Adrienne Maloof’s mother Colleen Maloof. Tom Gores still owns at least one other house in Mulholland Estates, the one directly across from Mister Sheen’s latest acquisition that’s currently for sale with an asking price of $10,750,000 and currently leased—so the stories go—for about twenty grand a month to none other than Adrienne Maloof. Mister Gores brother Alec also owns a house in the community that he picked up in 2007 from crooner Paul Anka.***

In addition to his trio of macmansions in the Mulholland Estates community, Mister Sheen also owns an ocean front condo in Malibu he bought in 1995 for $635,000 as well as a completely nondescript 1970s contemporary in Malibu’s Point Dume area that he scooped up in early 2002 for $1.3 million.

*Despite an always-manned gate house—or maybe it’s womanned, we don’t know—and 24/7 street patrols by private security there have over the years been an unusual amount of strange and disturbing criminal activities within the Mulholland Estates community. In late 2008 Paris Hilton’s house was burgled by the Bling Ring and in 2010 her former beau Cy Waits held a knife wielding wannabe intruder on the ground at gun point until the po-lice arrived to apprehend the obviously mentally disturbed moe-ron. Our Mister Sheen has twice—twice!—had an S-Class Mercedes stolen out of his goddamn driveway, one of which was driven over a cliff into a nearby ravine.

**The entire Mulholland Estates community sits north of Mulholland Drive, the dividing line between the Beverly Hills Post Office. That means it’s actually, technically, in Sherman Oaks but—and this is important to some people—has a 90210 zip code thanks to some smooth operating by the developer.

***It’s not known to Your Mama if Alec Gores occupies the houses he owns in Mulholland Estates or if it’s occupied by other family members, ex-wives, children and/or random tenants.

listing photos: Hilton & Hyland

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Judd Apatow Gets His Beach On

by Your Mama on April 22, 2013


BUYER: Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann
LOCATION: Malibu, CA
PRICE: $10,950,000
SIZE: 2,550 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama first heard this latest bit of property gossip about wildly prolific writer/producer Judd Apatow from Yolanda Yakketyak but we see now we’ve done been beat to the celebrity real estate punch by the long-legged gal at Trulia Luxe Living (and subsequently the tireless kids at Curbed). None the less we’re gonna get on this horse and ride anyways, just like we planned.

Mister Apatow, in case y’all live in a hole, is hardly a neophyte Tinseltowner having executive produced The Ben Stiller Show in the early 1990s. He went on produce The Larry Sanders Show, the short-lived but beloved Freaks and Geeks, a handful of money minting comedies with Will Ferrell, Steve Carell and/or Seth Rogan (Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Knocked Up, Superbad and Pineapple Express to name a few). More recently he produced the screamingly funny Bridesmaids and he currently executive produces Lena Dunham’s naughty, mildly existential and highly controversial tee-vee program Girls. He and his actress missus Leslie Mann—who appears primarily in Judd Apatow produced projects—are, to put it mildly, rolling in professional and financial clover.

Not only do Mister Apatow and Missus Mann own a swanky spread in Brentwood they quietly bought off market in mid-2009 for a very A-List $18,250,000, last June they dropped $8.6 million for a vacant one acre residential flag lot on the bluff overlooking the ritzy Riviera Country Club in Santa Monica and last month they shelled out another $10,825,000 for a beach front house in the exclusive, guard-gated Colony community in Malibu.

Mister Apatow’s increasingly baller-style real estate ways must really chap the ego of writer/producer Mark Brazill who once had a fierce feud with Mister Apatow. In a serious of emails Mister Brazill accused Mister Apatow of plagiarism and actually wished cancer upon Mister Apatow. Cancer! Who does that? Seriously. Anyhoo, Mister Apatow seems to be laughing the last laugh since Mister Brazill hasn’t had much showbiz success since That ’70s Show was canceled in 2006. As it turns out, Mister Brazill recently put his own house in Los Feliz, the one formerly owned by Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani, on the open 1market with an asking price of $5,195,000.

A careful parse of listing information from the time of the sale shows Mister and Missus Apatow-Mann’s newly acquired beach house in the Bu is an East Coast-y 1930s cottage with three bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms in 2,550 square feet, plus an additional bedroom and bathroom atop the detached two car garage.

A tiny but inviting tree-shaded flagstone courtyard leads from the entry gate to the front door that somewhat awkwardly opens directly into a roomy and completely renovated center island kitchen/family room combination space. The kitchen is equipped with a mahogany topped center work island, a pixilated tile back splash that reaches all the way to the ceiling around the glass-fronted upper cabinets and—natch—the customary complement of high-grade stainless steel appliances Your Mama and every other property watcher associates with beach houses that cost nearly $11 million.

The open concept main living/dining area has white floors (of unknown material), a bookcase flacked white brick fireplace in the dining area, a second, much more massive white brick fireplace in the living area that also has an extra-wide picture window with sea and sky views. An adjoining sun porch with wrap around windows and wood-framed glass doors has a party-sized built in sofa banquette that Your Mama thinks looks goddamn for foggy afternoons fueled with gin, tonic and a pound of penny candy.

Upstairs according to a listing Your Mama managed to scare up on the internets shows the there are two bedrooms with private bathrooms on the main house’s upper floor as well as a master suite that spans the full width of the house with fireplace and full wall of glass that connects the room to an L-shaped seaside terrace. A spiral stairs links the upper level terrace to the lower level outdoor living areas that include a sunken dining area and an elevated sunbathing deck with direct ocean access and view.

A quick perusal of property records reveal the seller was the estate the late, four-time Emmy nominated film and television producer Laura Ziskin who may not be a household name or tabloid staple like that April Fools faux-pregnant Lindsay Lohan whose fame has become sad and puzzling but shepherded a few handfuls of money making movies like The Eyes of Laura Mars, Pretty Woman, Spider-Man 1,2 and 3 plus The Amazing Spider-Man. She was also the first woman to produce the (74th and 79th) Academy Awards extravaganzas. Presumably Miz Ziskin shared the beach house with her man-beau and husband, two time Oscar winning screenwriter Alvin Sargent (Julia, Ordinary People, Spider-Man 1,2 and 3 plus The Amazing Spider-Man).

listing photos: Hilton & Hyland

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Your Mama Hears…

by Your Mama on April 22, 2013

MeiselPooper2

…from a well-connected source—let’s call her Helen A. Hightower—that innovative superstar fashion photographer Steven Meisel is surreptitiously shopping his done, done and all did up but good mid-century modern abode in Beverly Hills (CA) with a $15,000,000 price tag.

Supremely sited in on just over 1.5 acres in the upper reaches of the ever so dernier cri Trousdale Estates area of Bev Hills, the zig-zagging, single story city view sprawler was snapped up by Mister Meisel for $2,750,000 in the fall of 2001, before the neighborhood’s most recent phoenix-like resurgence as a brutally expensive hot bed of West Coast real estate über-desirability.

Once the haute epicenter of 1950s and 60s upscale modern architectural extravagance in Los Angeles, the hoity toity ‘hood was once home to a slew of business world magnates, political potentates and Tinseltown luminaries such as Groucho Marx, Frank Sinatra, Richard Nixon, (aviation bigwig) Bob Six, Nancy Sinatra and Tinseltown deal maker extraordinaire Irving “Swifty” Lazar, to name just five. Prices never really fell to a level that a middle class person would ever call cheap but by the turn of this century the hillside neighborhood at the eastern border of Beverly Hills had fallen out of real estate favor with well heeled Angelenos who came to prefer much larger, more sterile and obsessively uniform mock-Med and faux Tuscan mansions farther to the west in Bev Hills, Bel Air, Pacific Palisades and etc.

Some might say Mister Meisel single handedly put Trousdale Estates back on the map. Not because His Photographic Highness bought a house in the nabe but because he prominently featured an art-filled 1960s Trousdale Estates time capsule* for the gloriously haughty and instantly iconic advertising images for Versace’s fall/winter 2000 campaign called Four Days in L.A. starring Amber Valletta and Georgina Grenville. Remember those photos, puppies? That was some out and out Fashion World history, for sure.

Anyhoo, the L.A. County Tax Man’s records show Mister Meisels house, glassy and perched on a ridge line with panoramic views over the city, has three bedrooms and five bathrooms in 4,524 square feet but those figures are not likely an accurate reflection of the supah-suave residence’s current size and configuration.**

Mister Meisel’s house was featured in the October 2012 issue of Architectural Digest with lush photographs by Roger Davies and text by the always snappy Mayer Rus. The article reveals that the house was originally designed and built in 1963 by little lauded architect George MacLean for an unnamed race car driver and his model wife. Mister MacLean, in case any of y’all might care, also designed a low-slung home above Benedict Canyon on Beverly Estate Drive (in Bev Hills Post Office) that was owned for a brief spell in the mid-1950s by a young Elizabeth Taylor and her second husband, English actor Michael Wilding.

At the time Mister Meisel bought his spectacularly sited house in Trousdale Estates it was blessedly untouched but much in need of a re-fresh. He engaged the pricey and revered services of the Ron Radziner of the firm Marmol & Radziner who completely rebuilt and sensitively added 2,300 square feet to the existing city view mid-century modern residence then selected celebrated and much published decorator Brad Dunning to chic up the day-core but “maintain the integrity” and “ambiance” of the residence’s original 1960s swagginess.

Although the day-core speaks the language of the sixties—the mica wall in the living room, for example—this is very much a 21st century residence with all the expected luxuries, conveniences and accoutrement. The children will take particular note of Mister Meisel’s unusually spacious and positively unorthodox “hybrid home office/master bath” finished with walnut, heavily veined green onyx and—here’s the peculiar part—includes a sitting area/office where Mister Meisel can make calls and check emails between showering, flossing and toenail clipping.

In case any of the children aren’t feeling so bullish about Trousdale Estates and are concerned Mister Meisel’s (alleged) asking price of (around) $15 million might be a tetch too high Your Mama suggests y’all keep in mind that in August 2012 mid-priced ladies’ shoe and handbag magnate turned prolific property investor Bruce Makowsky dropped $12,650,000 on an almost 7,000 square foot house on a shy acre*** that he’s already ripped down to make way for something larger, slicker and presumably much more expensive.

In December (2012) former movie producer turned high end property developer Nile Niami—arguably L.A.’s sleeker and slightly less decadently minded version of London’s (in)famously recherché Candy brothers—coughed up $9,800,000 for Oscar-winning screenwriter Robert Towne’s long time residence that he plans to raze or—at least—extensively remodel and, no doubt, flip back on the market with an astronomical price.

The fabled—and, let’s be honest, decoratively dated—former home of Elvis and Priscilla Presley was also sold last December for $9,800,000 to hotelier and restaurateur Peter Morton. Your Mama heard though the real estate gossip grapevine that Mister Morton, much to the chagrin and outcry of mid-century architecture buffs and Elvis fan(atics) around the globe, wanted to raze or at least substantially alter and renovate the existing home. A later report by the ever-intrepid kids at Curbed suggests that may not, in fact, be possible due to a newly approved Beverly Hills ordinance that protects the work of “Master Architects” like Rex Lotery who designed the 5,400 square foot single story dwelling in 1958.

In New York City Mister Meisel owns a couple of adjoining condominiums that comprise about 4,000 square feet and the entire floor of a very grand, limestone clad 1911 Neo-classical palazzo with white glove services on lower Park Avenue. A similarly sized and fully refurbished full-floor spread on a lower floor of the same building is currently listed with an asking price of $20,500,000—and nearly ten grand a month in taxes and common charges, which should give the children some idea of what Mister Meisel’s combo condo might be worth.

Your Mama’s caveat: Mister Meisel’s house in not currently listed on the open market and until such time—or one of the more respectable celebrity real estate gossip outlets report it, probably with attribution—his is all just some celebrity real estate rumor and gossip. Got it?

*The house used for the Versace campaign was owned at the time by Charles Skouras Jr.and wife Diane who sold it in 2002 to hotelier Brad Korzen and decorating dervish Kelly Wearstler. They, in turn, sold it in spring 2006 to former CIA analyst turned Emmy winning film and television producer Bob Cort (Jumanji, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Runaway Bride) and his top-tier literary talent agent turned media executive wife Rosalie Swedlin who sold it last year for $17,400,000 to frequent house hoppers Ellen Degeneres and wife Portia de Rossi after they sold their multi-residence Beverly Hills compound for $37 million to  to squeaky clean (and newly single) Tinseltown tycoon Ryan Seacrest.

**An article in Architectural Digest (Oct. 2012) stated Mister Meisel “added 2,300 square feet to the existing 4,000-square-foot dwelling.”

***A “shy acre” is real estate speak for a parcel of just less than a 43,560 square foot full acre.

photograph: Roger Davies for Architectural Digest

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Russell Simmons Decamps NYC for the Left Coast

April 22, 2013

BUYER: Russell Simmons LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA PRICE: $5,877,500 SIZE: 5,979 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 7.5 bathrooms YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Looks like music, apparel and interweb tycoon Russell Simmons has himself a phat new crib in Tinseltown. According to the ever so well informed real estate yenta Yolanda Yakketyak, Mister Simmons—along with a spiritual guide [...]

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Speaking of Billionaires: Larry Ellison

April 22, 2013

SELLER: Larry Ellison LOCATION: Glenbrook, NV (Lake Tahoe) PRICE: $28,500,000 SIZE: 14,192 square feet, 13 bedrooms, 13 bathrooms (total) YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Speaking of billionaires with a plethora of private residences.. Large livin’ software tycoon Larry Ellison usually just buys pricey properties but did all y’all read that the pathologically prolific property purchasing gazillionaire has put one of his [...]

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UPDATE: Teddy Forstmann

April 22, 2013

SELLER: Estate of Teddy Forstmann LOCATION: Southampton, NY PRICE: $28,500,000 SIZE: 8,600 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Just six short months after being diagnosed (and treated at the Mayo Clinic) for brain cancer, jet setting private equity pioneer and fearsome corporate raider Teddy Forstmann went to meet the great financier in the sky [...]

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Anthony Field Wants to Wiggle Out of Drummoyne

April 16, 2013

SELLER: Anthony and Miki Field LOCATION: Drummoyne, Sydney, Australia PRICE: Undisclosed SIZE: 6 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Thanks to Mister Lamington, a pleasantly flattery property obsessed informant Down Under who calls himself, Your Mama has just learned that Anthony Field—the blue shirt wearing member of the children’s music super group The Wiggles—has his [...]

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